10 JACQUES COUSTEAU [031209]

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Internet news:

I'm really going after it on twitter these days. Follow me. I am pithy.

Album release:

Screened the offending covers, so that's all done. Still waiting on the disc screen. The thing about the Febraury 28 release looks like a horrible lie right now.

I really hope that you like the record when it comes out, or else we'll have played this little game for nought.

Song details + I need your help:

Today I'm going to talk about writing lyrics, because that's what's keeping me up at night these days. Once I describe my dilemma, I'm going to ask you for suggestions. We're going to go web 2.0 all over one of my songs, but not really. Should be fun.

In just about every respect, I consider Jacques Cousteau a win. The beat came together in less than two days of studio time; the Yamaha CS5 lead synth is sparklingly awesome; the little feedback bubbles at the end - which inspired me to add a sea-theme this song - really bring the song together; the samples really work well; and the lyrics are fun but focused, with few exceptions.*

*I am aware that the HMS Beagle was not Cousteau's vessel. I make up for it in the second verse.

*I said Rousseau to end the first verse, but I'm pretty sure I meant Robespierre. I didn't realize this until after I was done recording. In 52pickup, there are few second chances.

This song was easy to write because I was able to take a decidedly non-rap persona - a deep sea diver - and recreate him as a gangster-type character. This allowed me to pull from the already existing and quite colorful palette of hip-hop slang without laying any claim - false, inflated or otherwise - to hip-hop roots.*

*For a far more ambitious and nuanced application of this process, see MF DOOM's catalog and witness his recreation of himself as a wronged rap-superhero-turned-supervillain. Not that DOOM's claims to hip-hop legitimacy are false, at all. He just nails his concept.

*For a rather half-baked application of this process, see Sasquatch Hunter, my week 1 post.

It also allows me to add a layer of meaning to cliches that (hopefully) might make them interesting again. Take the term "drop science," a common rap bloviation, and the line I wrote for this song around that turn of phrase:

If you drop science then at least get your method straight

I would like to think that I wouldn't be caught dead using that phrase unless I found a way to make it more interesting. Fortunately, I was able to fit a nice line about the scientific method in there, and it meshed nicely with Jacques Cousteau's background as a scientist, so I was happy with it, and able to finish the song.

Here is where you come in:

Shortly before my last band, The Indefinite Article, broke up, three of us wrote the framework for a song called "Pimp Armstrong." I used our rough sessions for that song to make a 52pickup beat. It is done. It is ready for vocals. Has been for months now. And I have no idea how to go about writing for it.

Here's the chorus, and it is brilliant:

Bitch you know my pimp arm's strong
Don't you know I'm Pimp Armstrong?

So the question is, how do I approach this? Gangster pimp-rap has been done, ad nauseum. It's boring. But here I am, with a f***ing fantastic pimp-themed chorus, no personal pimping experience, and no desire to rehash tired rap cliches.

Okay, so let's go. Help me out. Best writing prompt gets a name-drop in a song.

Don't you dare suggest that I write about the music-industry-as-pimp. Metaphors of things-as-music industry are not clever.

One more thing. Did you know how awesome of a person Jacques Cousteau was? I really didn't know until I went hunting for stuff to write about. High holy hell. It almost makes me not want to ask anyone to mention this song under the heading "Pop culture tributes and references" and send me the link.

Illustration + puzzle:

The enemy-anemone line in the first verse was inspired by a fantastic Microsoft Paint-doodle, courtesy of Anton, a friend and co-worker of mine. There is a third semi-alliterative half-rhyme in there. What is it?


Links:

The dialog from the second chorus of this song comes from an episode Flipper. Apparently the father had a history of threats of spanking violence toward his boys. Weird, especially if you consider that Sandy is like 15. If you scroll down the page youtube starts searching for "slipper spanking," which is a little less family-oriented, so if you are reading this blog to your child, please do so with caution.

Gotta re-post this. Notice how the fifth verse is sort of an amalgam of food items referenced in the first four verses, but the order is jumbled. It would have thrown the background singer off, had she been paying attention.

WSJ examines endemic violence at Chuck E. Cheese. Solution: continue serving liquor, add armed security guards. Where a kid can be a kid!

Song credits:

Mixed by Phil Gorey. Mastered by Nick Zampiello at New Alliance East, Cambridge MA.